bachelor, bachelor girl, flapper, girlfriend, Kate Bolick, marriage, old maids, reading, single, singledom, singlism, Spinster, spinsterhood, Time to myself, unmarried women, wife material, women, women's lib
I live in a society in which we treat single women with pity (“oh poor thing did not find the right match”), fear (“she is a madcap spinster – been alone for years… must have been frustrated”), or condescension (“there must be something wrong with her – that is why she has been single”). While bachelors (single men) may be pitied (in a different way though – “look the guy can’t have home cooked food”), the attitudes towards single women range from bad to worse. The same does not go for single men. Single women are more often thought to be lonely and other people have trouble understanding that being single can have its own pleasures, and possibilities. Marriage or living together might have its advantages and that doesn’t mean that being a single woman cannot be advantageous! It is rather sad that we raise our daughters to believe that without marriage and motherhood, they will remain incomplete. We keep getting defined by what is lacking in our lives rather than by what is good about us.